U.S. to build moat across Mexican border

(Washington) - The U.S. has decided to build a moat across its southern border with Mexico.

The previous proposal for a fence was criticized - by everyone with common sense - as an expensive and stupid idea.
Faced with a fence, illegal border crossers could simply climb over it, make a hole in it or dig under it.

According to security pundits, a fence is not the best deterrent to those determined to trespass. Historians agree; a much better way to defend and protect property is a moat. Throughout history, a moat always worked better than a fence!

The U.S. moat will involve digging a trench across the southern border (California, Arizona, Texas). The moat will be 10 feet deep and about 1/2 mile wide. The moat will be built by the Army Corps of Engineers, using huge bulldozers, steam shovels, etc.

After the moat is dug, it will be filled with water from the Gulf of Mexico. The U.S. Navy will then take all the leftover mines from World War II and Vietnam and mine the moat.

After the moat is mined, The Department of Fish & Wildlife will add alligators. Lots of alligators.

According to a Homeland Security spokesperson, "98% of American citizens want illegal border crossing from Mexico stopped. A moat, filled with alligators, will do that."

The moat will also be stocked with fish, so that the alligators won't starve when the illegals stop trying to cross the border.

Politically, to appease extreme left wing liberals, environmentalists, and our friends and neighbors south of the border, the U.S. will call the moat an "irrigation, recycling and wildlife project".

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.