Saturday

Replace All Politicians

Replace All Politicians With Hookers

OK, we all know that politicians are whores. Politicians will do whatever the special interests want as long as the special interest lobbyists make campaign contributions and give other incentives to politicians. And the people are left out of the process altogether. The people no longer have a voice in their government, no longer have a voice in the decision and lawmaking process, have to wait 4-6 years to vote their displeasure, and end up participating in the same rigged game ... voting for 1 of 2 equally bad candidates.

The solution? Let's replace all politicians with hookers.

How it works
If hookers ran the government you could just tell them what you want and they would tell you how much it costs. So, if you wanted let's say, universal health care, your elected hooker would tell you that universal health care will cost you $6,500 a year. Then, if you decide that's what you want, and are willing to pay the price, you would get exactly what you paid for. If, on the other hand, you decide that, after getting the price, you don't want universal health care, or didn't want to pay the price, you wouldn't get universal health care.

With real hookers running the government everything the government provides would come with a specific price, which would be revealed in advance. And payable upfront.

What you pay
You want to continue the war in Iraq? Your elected hooker would tell you that the cost is $200 billion a year. There are 100 million households in the U.S. so your cost would be $2,000 a year. Payable upfront.

You want illegal immigration? Your elected hooker tells you illegal immigration costs the U.S. $100 billion a year, in crimes and services used and not paid for, such as education and medical care. If you want to continue U.S. illegal immigration your elected hooker will tell you that your cost is $1,000 a year. Payable upfront.

With real hookers running the government you will be able to decide what you want government to do and you'll get a price for that. Payable upfront. If you don't want to pay for it you don't get it.

Getting elected
Hookers would run for office by campaigning, just like today's politicians, but without the false promises, without the pandering, without the double talk. And hookers campaigning for election would be infinitely more interesting and exciting than politicians campaigning for election.

Responsive government
With hookers running the government, the government would be much more responsive to the needs and desires of their paying clients ... the American public. Unlike politicians, who are completely out-of-touch with the people, hookers are very much in touch and hands-on.

The solution
America's political system is broken. It isn't working anymore. We, the people, need a dramatic and drastic change in our system of government. Maybe replacing politicians with hookers is the answer! With politicians you never know what you're going to get and, all too often, you get nothing. Or get screwed. With hookers running the government you'll know exactly what you're going to get. And how much it'll cost.

And hookers will be cheaper. Just like hookers in the private sector, hookers running the government will be paid by the hour. No benefits. No pensions.

Let's replace America's phony politician whores. Let's replace 'em with real whores!