On Iraqi Freedom

a conversation between an Iraqi citizen and George W. Bush

Iraqi: "Thank you for getting rid of Saddam Hussein".

Bush: "You're welcome."

Iraqi: "Now what?"

Bush: "What do you mean?"

Iraqi: "What happens now?"

Bush: "What do you mean 'what happens now'? You are FREE!"

Iraqi: "I don't understand free. What does free mean?"

Bush: "Free means you are free. Free to govern yourselves, free to do what you want. You are no longer forced to do what somebody else tells you to do. You are free to determine your own future, free to decide how YOU want to live."

Iraqi: "I already know how I want to live. I want to faithfully follow my 7th century religion and faithfully pledge my allegiance to my 7th century tribe. These are the fundamentals of my life."

Bush: "Don't you want to be free? Don't you realize that freedom is the most important and most valuable thing you can ever have?"

Iraqi: "No. I do not understand this freedom. I did not want to be free, I just didn't want to live under a crazy murdering dictator and his 2 crazy murdering sons. It would have been just fine if you just removed Saddam Hussein and replaced him with a n-i-c-e-r dictator. How will I eat? How will I feed my family?"

Bush: "Under freedom, you feed yourself."

Iraqi: "How does that work? Before you removed Saddam I was given an education, a job, a place to live, food and medical care. Now, I have none of those things."

Bush: "Yes, but you are FREE. Now, you have FREEDOM!"

Iraqi: "And how, exactly, do you eat freedom?"

Bush: "You'll learn. It'll take 40-50 years but you'll catch on. Of course, you'll have to change. You'll have to separate your 7th century religion from your 21st century government. And you'll have to give up your 7th century tribal allegiance.But that's a small price to pay for f-r-e-e-d-o-m."

Iraqi: "Not be guided by Islam? Give up my tribe? Impossible, this is my whole entire culture, this is my whole entire life."

Bush: "Freedom is hard. Freedom requires sacrifice. Freedom is worth having. Even if you don't want it. Even if it takes 50 years. Even if it kills you. Freedom is the American way."

Iraqi: "I am not an American. I am not like you. You ruin my country. You ruin my life. You force freedom on people who do not want it, do not value it and will not fight for it. You understand nothing of my culture. You are naive and ignorant."

Bush: "Everything America does around the world is based on freedom. Everything we do is justified by freedom. How could you not want to be free? Freedom is my religion. Freedom is my gift. We want everyone to be free. We may have forced 20 million Iraqis to accept freedom but it's for their own good. 50 years from now you'll thank me."

Iraqi: "You are an idiot."

This conversation never happened.
Or did it?