EPA Fines God

For Polluting

(Sacramento) - The 15 major wildfires throughout Southern California, burning hundreds of square miles and turning the sky black with smoke, have been ruled as Acts of God. As a result, the California Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has levied a $10 million fine on God, for polluting the environment.

An EPA spokesperson, Peter Peckerhead, stated, "We have strict rules against polluting the environment in California and polluters will be fined. God is no exception."

The $10 million fine has put the Ninth Circuit Court of San Francisco, made up of extreme liberal whacko judges, in a quandry. If the court upholds the fining of God they would be admitting the existence of God, which, as extreme liberals, they refuse to do. On the other hand, because polluters in California are treated more harshly than child rapers, if the court doesn't uphold the fining of God they would appear to be lenient on environmental abusers. So, like all good-for-nothing politicians, the court solved the dilemma by going on emergency vacation, and avoiding the issue entirely.

Regarding the $10 million fine, God could not be reached for comment as He has no PR person, no cell phone number or email address.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.