Illegal Immigrant Shoots

English Speaking Machine

An illegal immigrant from Mexico today shot and killed a machine at the self-service checkout stand at a local Home Depot, a large home improvement supplies chain, in Los Angeles.

The shooter explained, through an interpreter, that the automated check out machine he was using was speaking English instead of Spanish. This enraged the illegal immigrant who does not speak one word of English and, as a result of this cultural and linguistic disrespect and abuse, the illegal pulled out a revolver and emptied 6 shots into the offending machine.

The shooter was arrested and released and plans to sue Home Depot for $5 million.

A spokesperson for Home Depot immediately issued a statement profusely apologizing for subjecting any U.S. illegal immigrants to English.

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The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

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