Michael Moore Offers

Free Health Care

(Hollywood) - Putting his fame and money where his big mouth is, the radical Hollywood documentary maker of "Sicko", Michael Moore, has donated all the profits from the film to establish a free medical clinic for people without health insurance.

The free medical facility is in Beverley Hills and will be staffed by doctors from left-wing liberal universities, who will work for free.

According to Moore, "Everything will be free; free checkups, free medications, free surgeries. The only stipulations are that you have to be unemployed and you have to be poor. This ain't no HMO!"

Asked why he changed his hypocritical lying ways, Moore responded, "I had an epiphany. I woke up in the middle of the night with chest pains and thought I was going to die. It was then that I realized what an a--hole I had been and that I should be grateful to the country and the system that made me rich and famous. I vowed that, if I lived, I would stop making up liberal lies, give away all my money, and actually help solve the problems and the injustices that exist in this great nation."

"I made millions making "mockumentaries" about things that are wrong about Amercia, never realizing that I was getting rich, famous and fat ... just like the people I mocked in the films I made."

A contrite Michael Moore pasted a smile on his fat face and added, "Oh, the chest pains? It was just gas."

Moore will also donate the profits of his next film to establish a free rehab center in Malibu. His next film is a pro-drug documentary called, "Pot Luck". The pirated version will be called, "Just Say Yes".

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.