Global Warming? I'm Freezing!

(Los Angeles) - Despite the hysterical warnings of scientists, celebrities, politicians and ex-Vice Presidents, many U.S. residents, including those in warm sunny Southern California, are experiencing some of the coldest winter weather on record ...

The Farmer's Almanac predicts that the winter of 07-08 will be colder than normal in the northeastern U.S., including New York and New England. And, in the normally warm Los Angeles area, mid-December nights have seen temperatures plummet to near freezing. In L.A., I go out every night and, in winter, I used to be able to wear a t-shirt and a leather jacket and be warm. Not anymore. Now, when I go out at night, I'm freezing. I don't have a heavy winter coat, i.e. heavy warm winter parka, and can't buy one here as stores in Los Angeles do not carry heavy winter parkas, because we in L.A. never needed a heavy winter parka - before global warming.
So far this winter, in spite of cries of global warming, Los Angeles is not warmer. In fact, to me (and all my friends) it feels about 10 degrees COLDER.

Global warming? I'm freezing!

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission and, preferably, a big fat payment.