U.S. Drivers Celebrate

Road Rage Day

Drivers throughout the U.S. will be celebrating the 1st annual Road Rage Day tomorrow, starting at 7:00AM local time and continuing through the evening rush hour. In anticipation of Road Rage Day drivers in major U.S. cities today were testing their car horns and stocking up on extra ammo.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Dept of Transportation, Fred Fenderbender, proclaimed Road Rage Day the first U.S. federal holiday to reflect the real world of America's overcrowded highways, continuous traffic jams and incredibly stupid drivers. Fenderbender added, "The U.S. government is proud to honor those who rage at other drivers for cutting them off or changing lanes at high speed without signaling. Road rage is a time-honored American tradition and it's time to honor it."

Road rage can also be very dangerous in America. Provoking another driver can get you verbally abused, beat up and even shot. A veteran of road rage himself, actor Jack Nicholson once beat on another vehicle with a golf club. Jack says, "I'm looking forward to Road Rage Day tomorrow. In order to be properly equipped for it, today I went out and bought myself a whole new set of golf clubs!"

So, tomorrow is the big day. Road Rage Day. Millions of drivers will be out on the nation's streets and highways, behind the wheel. And a lot of them will do incredibly stupid things. Be alert. Be prepared. Be angry.

Happy Road Rage Day!

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.