Teddy Bear Blasphemy

Gets Teacher 15 Days

In Sudan Jail

A female British teacher in the Sudan was sentenced to 15 days in jail because her class named a teddy bear Mohammed ...

We kid you not. Apparently, under Islamic law, naming a stuffed animal after the prophet Mohammed is blasphemy. Though it was her class that named the teddy bear Mohammed, a common name for Islamic males, the teacher was held accountable and faced being lashed and jailed. The Sudan is a fundamentalist Islamic country in Africa and often faces severe droughts, famines and civil wars.

A spokesperson for the Sudanese Ministry of Injustice stated, "We decided that the teacher broke the laws of Islam by naming the teddy bear Mohammed. Though we found the teacher guilty we felt merciful and will only throw her in jail for 15 days rather than giving her 40 lashes then throwing her in jail. After all, this is not the 9th century."

Sudanese jails are rated among the worst in the world. Meanwhile, thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday Nov 30, 2007 in a central square and demanded the execution of the British teacher. (No, this part we're not making up).

After serving her 15 days in jail the teacher will be immediately deported. Worlwide public outrage directed against the Sudanese government accompanied the teddy bear blasphemy case. However, one Hollywood celebrity airhead commented, "Wow! They were gonna give her 40 lashes? Now, that's hot; I only get free mascara!"

The kids in the class, who voted to name the teddy bear Mohammed, were not charged. The class will get a new teacher, reported to be a local tribal leader of the Taliban.

The teddy bear was also not charged.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission and, preferably, a big fat payment.