Paris Hilton Protests

Drunken Elephants

Paris Hilton

Heiress Paris, missing for months, has reappeared back in the news, protesting elephants in India who get drunk on farmer's rice beer and rampage villages.

Paris thinks that drunken, rampaging elephants are not so good for the villagers (or the elephants) and conservationists in India applaud her brilliant insight. Nobel Prize winner Al Gore, upon hearing of Paris' pathetic pachyderm plight, chimed in with, "Drunken elephants are a major contributor to global warming."

Paris herself said, "I know about being drunk and going on rampages; I did that for years."

It appears that the simple minded star of Simple Life has latched on to a new globally important cause; arresting elephants for DUI. What do you do with a drunken elephant in India? Same as in Hollywood; levy a fine, give it probation, and send it to rehab.

Now that's hot!

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

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