Oil Hits $1,000 A Barrel

Bush Blamed

The price of oil hit $1,000 a barrel today for the first time in history, causing every nation's economy to stop dead in it's tracks as all the money in the world was suddenly sucked up by Saudi Arabia and other middle eastern oil producers.

As a result of $1,000 a barrel oil, gas prices in the U.S. jumped to $20 a gallon. According to liberals and environmentalists, filling up the tank of a gas guzzling, environmentally unfriendly SUV will now cost $500, money which could be better used to do other things, such as giving it to the poor, planting a windmill in your backyard, or recycling toilet paper and plastic bags.

Many important items in our lives are made from oil, including plastic, which is used to make critical everyday items such as computers, cell phones, ipods, fast food wrappers, potato chip bags, crayons, shampoo, condoms and sex toys.

As a result of $1,000 a barrel oil, economists predict that the price of every product on earth will double in the next 30 minutes.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.