Pubic Speaking

People's #1 Fear

(Amsterdam) - The #1 fear of people throughout the world has always been public speaking. According to the latest Giddyup Poll, because of stupidity and superstition, the #1 fear of people throughout the world is now the fear of PUBIC speaking. Why anyone would be afraid of their genitals saying something is beyond comprehension.

A spokesperson for the Association of Nether Regions, Harry B. Low, says, "So far we have no record of anyone's pubes making a speech."

In addition, according to the Ancient and Modern Languages Department at Oxford University, there is not now, and never has been, a documented language used by pubes to communicate verbally.

Nonetheless, in an irrational and fearful world, in spite of all the evidence and reassurance, the #1 fear in the world is now pubic speaking.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission and, preferably, a big fat payment. Contact