Statue Of Liberty Speaks Out

On U.S. Immigration

(New York) - In a miraculous display of spontaneous real life animation, the famous landmark in New York Harbor, The Statue of Liberty, today spoke to stunned reporters ...

From her concrete pedestal, the giant green metal lady, a beacon of freedom throughout the world for 220 years, opened her enormous mouth and said, "Enough already with the tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to be free. America has borders, and we have laws against crossing those borders illegally."

Lady Liberty went on to say, "I have stood here since 1886, welcoming immigrants to America. Legal immigrants. Your parents and grandparents. Your parents and grandpatrents, who were l-e-g-a-l immigrants, immigrants who were grateful to be here, who became citizens legally, who embraced the language and culture and ways of America and who helped make America great. Now, all I see is millions of people sneaking across the border illegally, like thieves, without regard to our sovereignty or our laws and without documentation, without permission and with no allegiance to this nation. I can no longer stand idly by and remain silent. And you, you scumbag Washington politicians, you, and you alone, are guilty of allowing this illegal penetration, this rape, of America to continue. Shame on all of you! That's all I have to say."

Politicians in Washington could not be reached for comment as they were all hiding under their big, expensive desks. Desks bought and paid for by American citizen taxpayer dollars.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.