Israel Agrees To

Relocate All Jews

(Tel Aviv) - Iran president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, an internationally known loudmouth, last week suggested that Israel be given to the Palestinians and all jews in Israel be relocated to Alaska. This week, Israel countered the suggestion with the Palestinians paying for Israel and paying the jews to relocate, not to Alaska, but to Miami Beach, Florida.

A spokesperson for the Knesset, Israel's Parliament, was quoted as saying, "The price would be negotiable. And payable in cash. As for relocation, Alaska is too cold. Big, but cold. Miami Beach is better. It's warmer and many of our American jewish brothers and sisters have already relocated there from New York."

Ahmadinejad's plan to relocate the jews and give Israel to the Palestinians would probably backfire. If the Palestinians were given Israel they would no doubt run it into the ground and turn it into a third world country in less than a decade. Then, the jews would be able to buy it back. Cheap. Make a huge profit. And, as the new land owners, the jews would then be able to throw the Palestinians off the land, out of Israel. Maybe relocate THEM to Alaska.

That would be poetic justice for Mr. Ahmadinejad and his stupid suggestion. Be careful what you wish for, Mr. Small-Man-With-A-Big-Mouth, you just might get it.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.