Cure For The Common Cold

(Washington) - Presidential front runner, Hillary Clinton, today announced that, if she is elected, she will reveal the cure for the common cold.

In a political speech, Hillary Clinton stated, "I'll do anything to get elected. I'll bribe babies, I'll promise free health care to all 300 million people in America, including illegal immigrants and domestic terrorists. I'll make campaign promises, promises I have no intentions of keeping, to anyone who votes for me! I'm a politician, that's what I do."

Hillary also promises to give us a cure for the common cold. "We politicians have had the cure for the common cold for decades. We just kept it a government secret. Now, if all you Democrats vote for me, and I get annointed, uh, I mean elected, as queen, uh, I mean president, then I'll reveal the cure for the common cold."

Washington politicans, indeed, may have been hiding the cure for the common cold. Think about it, when is the last time you saw a politician on TV coughing and sneezing with a cold? Never!

A spokesperson for the group, Americans Against Brain-Dead Politicians, stated, "Imagine that, the government hiding the cure for the common cold! We always thought politicians never caught a head cold because they were brain dead."

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright September 11, 2007, reprinted July 2016 Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.