Congress Votes To Give

Itself Fridays Off

(Washington) - In a truly incredible display of arrogance and cluelessness, the U.S. House of Representatives today voted to give itself a 4-day workweek, with every Friday off.

American workers and taxpayers across the nation were outraged, as THEY have to work 5 and 6 days a week. Every week. "Why should Congress get Fridays off? The lazy bastards don't do anything on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday!" states Ben Dover, a spokesperson for Taxpayers Against Brain Dead Politicians.

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, smartly attired in yet another designer pantsuit responded to the criticism. "In Washington, our 20-minute daily commute, via limo, is too long and tiring," she says. "Plus, we need to start spending more taxpayer time on campaigning for ourselves in the next election. It's the most important thing we do and it's only a year away. Besides, we're totally arrogant and completely out of touch with the American public. We don't represent America or its people, we only represent ourselves. We're politicians, we don't work, and, if we want to give ourselves a 4-day workweek, then we're going to do what WE want to do, regardless of what the taxpaying public wants. Anyway, what's the difference, we don't get anything done in Washington anyway."

The other 434 members of the U.S. House of Representatives could not be reached for comment, as they all took the day off.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

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