Opra money laundering

Opra Accused Of

Money Laundering

(Chicago) - Super rich talk show host, Opra Wimpy, today was accused of money laundering.

The accusation was published in the paparazzi newspaper, The National Inquisitor, based on a long investigation of 5 minutes. According to the paper's reporter, Tab Lloyd, "Opra is definitely and knowingly involved in money laundering".

An Oprah spokesperson responded, "Yes, it's true. Opra launders money. Several times a week she takes all her paper money and puts it in the washing machine (permanent press cycle). Then she puts it in the dryer for 30 minutes (low heat) and then irons each bill. Opra likes her money clean and germ free."

Chicago District Attorney, Sue Quick, said, "No criminal charges will be filed."

A spokesperson for the Celebrity Psychiatric Assocation stated, "From her behavior in this matter we believe Opra may suffer from a mild obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) which makes her launder her money. This is harmless, provided she uses no bleach."

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

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