New O.J. Book

"If I Stole It"

(Las Vegas) - Ex-heisman trophy winner, ex-NFL running back, ex-sportscaster, ex-actor and ex-double murderer, O.J. Simpson, now charged with serious crimes involving illegally retrieving his sports and murder memorabilia, is reported to be working on a new book about the alleged crimes, entitled, "If I Stole It".

The book details how O.J. would have stolen back his sleazy memorabilia from a sleazy Las Vegas memorabilia dealer by breaking and entering, armed robbery and kidnapping. If convicted of the charges, O.J. faces up to life in prison.

Previously, Mr. Simpson was acquitted of a double murder.

The O.J. double murder trial is known as "the trial of the 20th century". The new O.J. memorabilia trial is expected to be known as "the trial of the 21st century". Thus, the trials and tribulations of O.J. Simpson spans 2 centuries.

In the new trial involving memorabilia, race rather than evidence is expected to once again be the focus of O.J.'s defense attorneys, as Simpson is the only black involved in the case.

Las Vegas odds makers make O.J. a 2-1 favorite to once again get off.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission and, preferably, a big fat payment. Contact