U.S. May Replace Eagle

As National Symbol

The fierce, independent American bald eagle may be replaced as the national symbol of the United States.

The new U.S. symbol? It may be a chicken.

A Congressional spokesperson stated, "The change to a chicken would better reflect the U.S. image, from the Vietnam War to the present. Our government doesn't fight wars to win, doesn't pass needed legislation, doesn't secure its borders, is overly concerned with not offending other countries and cultures, panders to special interests, and spends money like a drunken sailor. And the chicken would be an excellent representation of our do-nothing Congress."

The Democratic controlled Congress may be thinking that the U.S. eagle symbol is too strong, too majestic, too predatory. They would prefer a lower profile symbol. Perhaps a chicken.

As a new American symbol, the chicken is being applauded by the ACLU, left-wing liberals, U.S. college students and university professors, the liberal media, and the poultry industry.

Commenting on the chicken symbol, at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel happily crowed, "Now we're cooking!"

The chicken is also known for its stupidity, running around in circles flapping its wings, and, on a regular basis, laying eggs.

Many baby boomers, who still remember being taught right and wrong values by their parents, were disturbed and dismayed by the new U.S. symbol. One 60-something boomer lamented, "Yes, the U.S. has fallen in stature and strength. But to make a stupid chicken our national symbol is just plain stupid."

If the U.S. national symbol is changed, all U.S. currency will be reprinted to delete the American bald eagle and replace it with a chicken.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.