U.S. Dept Of Energy

Produces No Energy

(Washingtom) - The U.S. Dept of Energy, in a congressional hearing on energy today, revealed that, in the current fiscal year, it produced no energy.

The Secretary of Energy went on to state, under oath, that, in the past 5 years, the U.S. Dept of Energy produced not one drop of oil, not one cubic foot of natural gas, not one watt of electricity, no windmills and zero solar power.

In fact, this is consistent with the department's results every year since its existence began in 1977.

A spokesperson for the Dept of Energy also stated, "We have no plans to produce any energy in the future either".

The U.S. Dept of Energy (DOE) is a cabinet level government agency with nearly 20,000 taxpayer funded employees, a taxpayer funded budget of $22 billion ... yet it produces no energy.

In the 1980's, the entire Dept of Energy was disbanded - done away with - by executive order of President Ronald Reagan. The Dept of Energy still exists, its bureaucracy and budget is bigger than ever, yet it still produces no energy.

Welcome to Washington.

NOTE: The U.S. Dept of Energy does not exist to actually produce energy. According to Wikipedia, among other things, "In the United States, all nuclear weapons deployed by the United States Department of Defense (DOD) are actually on loan to DOD from the DOE, which has federal responsibility for the design, testing and production of all nuclear weapons". (This is NOT made up. Nor is it very funny.)

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

copyright Andrew Lawrence. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, without written permission.