Illegal Immigrant Wins

$100 Million Lottery

(Los Angeles) - Admitted illegal immigrant, Jose Juan Jesus Jimenez, also known as 4-J, has hit the jackpot in America, winning $100 million in the 13-state Big-Balls lottery.

Jose, a day worker who, 7 days a week, stands outside a large home improvement supplies warehouse in Los Angeles waiting for someone to hire him, says he came to the U.S. 18 months ago with no papers, no education, no skills and no money. He has been living with 6 other families in a rented 2-bedroom house and speaks little English. Now, he's rich.

Speaking through an interpreter, Jose says, "I came here, illegally, 18 months ago, with nada. Now, I am rich. Now, I bring my whole family from Mexico to live in America; mother, father, wife, 5 children, 16 uncles, 11 aunts, 8 brothers, 5 sisters and 147 cousins. I buy big house. I am very happy. America is good place. Muchos gracias, America!"

Illegal immigrants in the United States are allowed to play and win U.S. lotteries. As a result, Jose Juan Jesus Jimenez will receive a cash payout of $65 million.

When asked if he wants to become a U.S. citizen, Jose replied, via interpretor, "Why would I want to do that? My allegiance is to Mexico; I just came here to work. Besides, as an illegal, I now have more money and more rights in your country than you do as an American citizen."

God Bless America.

The above headline and story is not true. It was made up, by the author, solely as comedy, with no intent to harm or offend. Any of it which turns out to be true, in whole or in part, is purely coincidental ... and would be even funnier.

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